How to offer help that really helps
When someone needs help, we are often inspired to do something - we may not know what exactly. We may want to help but we don't know how to.
It can be hard to know what the person needs and it can be difficult to find out how best to help. So in this article we try to provide some practical tips for offering help that really helps the person that needs it.
Here are some tips for how to go about offering help to someone that you care about.
It's OK to feel awkward
It's important recognise that it's OK for you and the person you talk with to both feel a bit awkward or embarrassed.
When we see someone we care about going through a particularly difficult time or experiencing something awful it can stir up a lot of feelings in both of you.
Chances are neither of you have been in this situation before and it isn't always clear how to start the conversation, know what's needed now or in the future, and what comes nextwhat comes next.
It's OK not to try to tackle everything all at once
Often it isn't a single conversation it's multiple conversations over a period of time and those conversations might evolve and that's great because that means that you and them are being open and transparent with each other, and the person going through something isn't feeling isolated and alone.
Make sure the person knows they can ask you for help in the future
When someone is going through a difficult. In their life it can be difficult to know in those moments exactly what help is needed and be able to articulate that. the person might need time to fully understand and recognise what's happening how long it will be happening and what kind of help they need now and in the future.
often the help someone needs will also change overtime, so when offering him to someone one of the best things you can do is say “let me know how I can help, I’m here for you when you're ready”.
Help is a language that's sometimes learnt on the fly
Many people don't know how to express how they want to offer help, but innately know that they want to.
And just like when learning a language often you know what you want to say but it can be difficult to be able to understand the words that come back to you and how to respond to them.
Sometimes not knowing how to express how much you want to help can result in people not reaching out to help at all! After all it can be daunting, what if you're asked for help you can't deliver?
But ultimately it can be very comforting to someone who needs help to simply have people reach out to listen to their story and offer practical ‘parcels’ of help – such as picking up the laundry a few times a week or paying the power bill so things like cooking and bath-time isn’t at risk.
It can be overwhelming to always talk about serious things
Often even with the best of intentions it can be overwhelming to keep talking about the situation a person is in or the help that they need. sometimes what they really need is the is the mental space to not think about it and not talk about it for a while.
Activities such as playing board games or watching a funny movie together or reminiscing about old times or simply playing a fun game in the garden with children can be enough to make someone temporarily forget their worries and really live in the moment.
Being outdoors getting fresh air can do wonders for mood and for one’s health especially when that's experienced with people that care and a healthy dose of laughter.
The final word
The ultimate goal of offering help to someone who needs it is the acceptance of that help and the ability to deliver on it. It might sound simple, and it might sound obvious but often a conversation or two and really hearing each other, is the best way to find the ways to provide help that helps to the person that needs it, at that time.
HelpPay is a 100%Australian owned company focused on making helping easier.
HelpPay's app is free for anyone to download and the HelpPay Promise ensures that money received to be paid towards a bill only ever goes to pay that bill.
Best of all the HelpPay app keeps a track of how much has been paid so when the full amount owed has been paid it stops accepting payments, providing peace of mind that bills can't be overpaid.