The Ultimate Guide to Asking for Help

Asking for help can feel daunting but it is a sign of strength to ask for help, and most people want to help people they care about. Getting a 'yes' might end up being easier than you think. Our ultimate guide to asking for help is here to give you tips to getting the help you need.

If you are having trouble with something, there's no shame in asking for help. When you ask for help, you are not admitting defeat. You are showing strength because you know that you don't have all the answers.

Many people need to ask for help in their lives. Sometimes it's easy to do but sometimes it can be difficult to admit that you need help. But know that asking for help is one of the most important skills in life because when we do, we can get what we need and be more successful.

So if something is confusing or difficult, remember that just because you ask for help doesn't mean that it’s your fault or weakness - it just means that you are strong enough to admit when things aren't going well.

Why We Need to Stop Being Afraid of Asking for Help.

The fear of asking for help is a common problem. It's not just the fear of looking silly to the people we care about, and those that care about us, it's also the fear of being let down. This article discusses how to overcome this fear and why we need to stop being afraid of asking for help because the truth is we should not be afraid to ask for help when we need it. We are all human, and we all go through our ups and downs. The reality is the people that you turn to for help have asked and received for help along the way too.

There is no shame in asking for help.

You are not depriving yourself of any opportunity by admitting you need assistance. A sign of strength is someone who does not fear asking for help when they need it.

Asking for help is a really important skill to learn and you’ll use it throughout your life - at school, in your career and in your relationships.

What Is The Perfect Way To Ask For Help?

We all need help from time to time. Whether it's advice on how to do something or someone to talk to, we are all looking for support. But how do you ask for help? And who should you ask?

There is no one single 'right' way of asking for help, but there are some guidelines that will make the process easier. Our research found that most people think of asking for help, and giving help as a very personal thing, and most of the people we talked to said they asked their family and friends for help face to face or over a video call (especially important during the covid lockdowns), or during a phone call.

People are more likely to say yes to a request when it is asked in person or by having a conversation. There is something about the human connection that makes people more inclined to say yes. It also helps that we are more likely to remember the details of the request.

This doesn't mean that we should stop using other methods of asking for help, such as email, but it does show how important it is to be aware of what methods work best for different people.

How To Know If Someone Wants Your Help Or Just Wants To Talk About Their Problems?

It is important to know the difference between someone who wants to talk and someone who wants your help. The best way to know if someone wants your help or just wants to talk is by asking them specific questions about their problems. If they are willing to answer these questions, then it's likely that they want your help.

It is important to listen with an open mind and ask open questions by doing this you will get a good understanding of whether the person you're talking with is looking for help, and if so, what kind of help. When you understand the nature of the request it is easier to decide if you're able to help (sometimes the help needed might be too much for you by yourself) and if you can, when and how to deliver the help.

Defining Appropriate Times to Request Assistance

There are no hard and fast rules to know for sure when the best times are to ask for help but there are some general guidelines that can be followed.

Firstly, you should never feel embarrassed or ashamed of asking for help. You should never feel like it is a sign of weakness - it is not! It takes a lot of courage to admit when you need assistance. Family, friends and colleagues want to see the people they care about succeeding in life and not getting caught in debt traps. Ultimate guide to asking for help - HelpPayMore often than not people will help if you ask for it, and it helps to be able to demonstrate you have explored options to avoid or reduce the likelihood of it happening again.

We suggest the most appropriate times to ask for help are when you and the person you're asking for help are relaxed and you know you have as much time as you need to discuss the issue for as long as it might take for both you and the person(s) you're asking for help to talk through any questions that are asked.

A key thing to remember about asking for help is that as the 'asker' you have had time to think about the problem, the options, the solutions and what help you need, but to the person being asked often this is new news and may take some time to process.

Sometimes this can be taken as the person being asked not wanting to help, but they do - they just need time to process the request, understand the situation, ask questions so they feel comfortable and then they're able to help.

How Do I Ask My Friends/Family For Help?

It can be hard to ask for help. It can feel like you're burdening your friends and family. But what our research has found is that more than 80% of people help their family and friends when they are able too - so a yes is much more likely than a no, if you ask them for help. That said, there are definitely things you can do to improve your chances of a yes and make the entire experience better for everyone. they might be more than happy to help you if you just ask them.

When asking for help, it's important that you don't just say "I need your help." You should instead ask them what they could do to help and then tell them what you need from them specifically.

Here are some ways to ask for help:

You might say, "I need your help with _____."

You might say, "I'm having a hard time with _____ and I could really use your support."

You might say, "I'm feeling really overwhelmed right now and I need someone who can just listen."

How Do I Ask A Friend For Money To Pay Off Debt?

If you are experiencing financial hardship, it can be difficult to ask for help - but for many people 'financial hardship' might be a step to far. Maybe money is just a bit tight temporarily, or through no fault of your own.

You may feel embarrassed or ashamed, or that you are putting your friends in an uncomfortable position. But if your friend is someone who cares about you, they will want to help. HelpPay's research into attitudes of helping found that most people think it is normal to need help with bills some of the time.

Often, the biggest barrier to getting help to pay off debt or asking friends to contribute to pay part of a bill you may be overdue on is yourself and the fear of rejection or feeling shame.

Our research found the biggest reason for not helping with bills by people who said they could afford to help was trusting the money they give would end up going to the bill. This group were concerned that they might give money to pay off an electricity bill, for example, but that it would actually be spent on a night out, or a haircut. Many of us have heard stories where someone has done just that, so it isn't completely unreasonable to think that it might happen.

The most important thing that you should do when asking for financial help from family, friends and colleagues is to be honest about what’s going on and not pretend everything is fine when it’s not. Another key way to give the people you're asking to help, peace of mind, is using a platform which ensures the money they give passes their money directly to the company, not just to your personal bank account.


Summing up, the best way to get help is to:

  • Be clear about what help you need and when you need it.

  • Ask for help face to face or another communication method that allows for easy conversation, such as a phone call or video call.

  • Be able to demonstrate to the 'helper' what you've done to avoid the situation or make the situation better already.

  • Be ready to calmly and happily answer questions the helper asks, becuase for them this may come out of the blue.

  • When asking for financial help, offer to use a platform that sends the money directly to where it is needed, not just to your personal bank account, so that the person helping knows their money is only going to where it should.

    About HelpPay

    HelpPay is a 100% Australian owned company focused on making helping easier.

    HelpPay's app is free for anyone to download and the HelpPay Promise ensures that money received to be paid towards a bill only ever goes to pay that bill.

    Best of all the HelpPay app keeps a track of how much has been paid so when the full amount owed has been paid it stops accepting payments, providing peace of mind that bills can't be overpaid.

    Download the HelpPay app from the Apple Store or Google Play Store for free, today.